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Redford

We were so young. Thriving from each others ecstasy, out of our own skin. It was as if the entire world could collapse before us, and it wouldn't matter as long as we were in each other's arms. 

It was the way you looked ever so deeply into my brown eyes and told me those three promising words. I had never felt so safe, never in my life. 

It was the way our bodies melted together into one vessel when we lay together. As of god himself separated us at one time, just so we could meet one another again. 

It was the way our lips first consumed each other, the taste, the spirit, all in the same instant. Tingles shot throughout my entire body and exited through my fingertips, only to transition into yours. I felt as if your  heavy breath could keep me alive forever. 

It was the way our eyes filled with tears when we had to part, I knew I couldn't let go of that moment and the longing I felt in my lungs, not for air, but for you. 

It's the way I remember your face the last time we saw each other. Enraged and bitter, nearly hating my entire existence. So much hurtful words darted at one another. So many expectations and promises broken. 

It's the way I will never forget what safeness felt like, and how I can now feel safe in your absence. 

beg.steal.or.borrow.

always happens.  my emotions are jumbled and confused because of lack of affection. my heart is heavy when you are gone, and burns when you are here.

if you only knew what the lost soldiers did to me

white lies. whight lyes. wite lize. whyte liez. white lies.white lies.
these are what intrudes between you and i. your self affection for these things you protect yourself with.  affiliated with nonsense, and for what. to avoid confrontation that may last the epitome of a yawn. to protect myself from the dishonesty, i commend all which i believe in and in the absence of your voice, i demand an apology.  you may not agree, or acknowledge the fact, but your little whight lyes hurt more than a disdained and exhausted invention of your twisted mind. pitifully, the wite lize keep adding up and multiplying without a thought.  it has now become your truth, and in that i cannot begin to think what the truth really is. or what reality has become.  you saunter with the least bit of suspicion that i have found you out.  and i wonder. 
will it even matter?

god save the queen

beat, one two. one two three. 
check check one two. im still here. 
i still hear your heart beat.
while i fall asleep. and
i can still smell you.
on my sheets.
i still reach my arm.
over to find my safe place. 


rewind. pause.

my heart sinks and my tummy jumps in my throat.
when your hands slide down and.
embrace my hips. 
my voice decides to take a vacation when.
your lips kiss me here. 


kiss me there.




fast forward. press play.


beat, one two. one two three.
this is me.
and i am still alone. naked.
i wish i was.
i wake up to morning. 
and nothing else.
good morning sunshine. lets dance.